Aren’t You Afraid of Her?

Earlier this year, before the world changed, I was attending a networking event. Another attendee and I started connecting over our dogs. I told her Mischa was a black-lab/pitt-bull mix . She stopped smiling and her eyes got very serious. I wasn’t expecting the next words out of her mouth.

“Aren’t you afraid of her?”

The question was so absurd I had to choke back a laugh. Afraid of Mischa? Not at all! I assured my new acquaintance that Mischa is really a big cuddle bug and she’s never done anything to make me scared of her. Sure, I might be afraid if I was someone breaking into our house, or trying to attack her momma. But, otherwise, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

That’s not the whole truth though. Because I am afraid.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid I don’t always have the energy to run around with her and wear her out.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid she could get hurt or lost on a trip to the farm without a leash.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid I work too much and don’t give her all the attention she needs and deserves.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid I lose my temper too quickly when her stubborn personality clashes with mine.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid I yell too much when she’s doing things I deem are bad, even if they’re typical doggy activities.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid I’ll give her a toy that goes down the hatch and ends up hurting her.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid she’ll approach a stranger to make a new friend and they’ll hurt her because they’re afraid.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid she would move to protect me and then be blamed for any injuries she could cause.

I’m not afraid of Mischa. But I’m afraid one day she’ll grow gray and old and I’ll have to say goodbye way before I’m ready.

I’m afraid, but not of Mischa.